The 5-Step Process I Use to Help Clients Dissolve Limiting Beliefs

Today, I’m sharing one approach I use in my work for dissolving limiting beliefs that you can try on your own.

As a coach, I’m always paying attention to where my clients are speaking and acting from. If it's from a place of limitation, we go there first before anything else.

Many professionals in my field skip this step. Sometimes this is because they missed it and other times it’s because they want to (honorably) adhere to a client-centered approach by working on whatever the client says they want to focus on.

But if that focus is rooted in limitation, I don’t consider that truly client-centered—I consider it limitation-centered. And I’m more concerned with calling forth the best in the person I’m working with.

I care more about believing in my client than believing my client.

…even when that’s more than they believe in themselves (which is sort of the point of this whole post).

It’s easy for me to hear limitation. It shows up in language, both spoken and unspoken. My clients are usually open to recognizing this within themselves and doing something about it.

That’s kinda why they’re paying me. And I only work with people who are ready to dissolve their limitations and free themselves from suffering (not everyone is). So we are usually in agreement: go to the source of limitation and uproot it.

Only then do we take action, because any action taken from limitation only reinforces and perpetuates it. We want to act from our true, most expansive selves, not our conditioned patterns.

So here’s how we do it.

Step 1: Identify the Core Emotion

A high-profile artist I work with has a fear of rejection.

You’d think someone at his level would have overcome that by now, right? You’d be surprised how many people at the top of their craft still struggle with the same things that once held them back. But in many cases those struggles have actually driven them (which is why a lot of accomplished people are actually attached to their limitations—they credit them for their success).

Back to this client of mine. He’s afraid.

This fear first showed up as frustration. But frustration—like all forms of anger—often masks a deeper emotion. Underneath anger, you’ll usually find fear or sadness. In this case, it was fear.

However, this isn’t how he communicated it. Instead, he described a frustrating circumstance. But I don’t coach circumstances. I coach people, not problems. If I had followed him into the details of the situation, we would have been distracted from the real cause of distress—the feeling that the circumstance was activating.

So, what’s causing you distress? (This is where I attempt to coach you via Substack. Pray for us.)

If you just thought of a set of circumstances, I challenge you to look within instead of around. What’s the feeling those circumstances activate?

What’s the core emotion?

Fear, Sadness/Grief, or Anger?

Step 2: Identify the Core Belief

Now that we’ve identified the emotion, let’s look at the accompanying beliefs—the thought patterns associated with it.

So I ask my client, In this state of fear, what are you telling yourself? I want to know the inner dialogue, the commentary, the narratives. We jot them down and look for the one thought that underlies the rest.

That thought is usually a core belief.

For example, if the thoughts are:

• I’ll get rejected again

• I’m not good enough

• I shouldn’t even try

The underlying thought here is probably: I’m not good enough.

Can you see how the other two would stem from that?

Your turn. From the emotional state you identified in Step 1, what are you telling yourself?

Write down the thoughts.

Now circle one thought that seems to underly the others.

Now we have the core emotion and the core belief that’s causing suffering.

Step 3: Remove the Core Belief

A belief is just a thought we accept as truth.

That’s all.

So I ask, When you believe this thought, how does that make you feel?

Without me even saying it, this usually highlights something critical—it’s not the thought itself that causes suffering, it’s believing the thought is true.

Let’s take care of that. Here are couple ways that lend themselves well to this format.

Two ways to dissolve a limiting belief:

A. Imagine it’s no longer there.
If you woke up tomorrow with the same circumstances, but you couldn’t think that belief—like it was erased from your mind—how would you feel? What shifts do you notice? What changes? Without that belief, who would you be? What would you do?

B. Reveal it as untrue.
Is this thought true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes, a little Byron Katie for you.)

The answer is always no. Any “evidence” for it comes from the past, which isn’t really evidence—it’s conditioning. Right now, today, there is no proof that the limiting belief is true*

*There is no proof if you got to the core belief and are not still focused on circumstances. For example, “I’ve never worked with this person” is not the core belief. That’s just a fact. “I’m not good enough to work with this person,” could be a core belief.

So if the thought is not true, it’s no longer a belief—because a belief is just a thought we accept as truth.

So now, knowing that thought isn’t true—how do you feel? What shifts do you notice? What changes? Without that belief, what’s possible for you?

Try one (or both) of these and see what happens. I wish I could walk through this with you. If you want, we can arrange for that, but try it yourself first.

Again, how do you feel that this thought is no longer true? Sit with this. Feel it.

Most of the time, you’ll notice a sense of lightness and freedom. My client described it as feeling “like a feather.” That’s what happens when we let go of limiting beliefs—they were never holding us, we were holding onto them.

And it’s like holding onto chains.

When we drop them, we’re lighter.

This is where you want to act from. When we take action from this place, new possibilities open up.

Truthfully, you can stop here.

I often do, because I find that our inner freedom is more about subtracting than adding. In other words, removing limitation is all that's needed.

But we're having fun here so let's take it a step further.

Step 4: Identify the Opposite Belief

The core belief—the one that caused all that distress—has been unearthed and discarded. Now, let’s replace it with something empowering and way more deserving of your greatness.

What’s the opposite of that core belief you identified in Step 2?

For example, if the limiting belief was “I’m not good enough for this opportunity,” the opposite might be “I am capable and deserving of this opportunity.”

Now, let’s gather evidence to support this new thought.

What evidence do you have that this new thought (the opposite of the limiting belief) is true?

In my client’s case, he came up with an entire laundry list of proof that he was capable and deserving. But he could only do this effectively after he let go of the belief that he wasn’t (step 3).

This new thought—now supported by real evidence—becomes something he can believe. There is proof, after all.

And from this new belief, new opportunities emerge.

Step 5: Move Forward from Expansiveness

Now, we act.

We move forward from expansiveness. Lightness. From a place of possibility. From being connected to our excellence, our worth, our infinite potential.

I explore what’s next with my clients when they recognize that they are powerful, resourceful, and capable of whatever it is their heart desires.

Once they know that what’s next is whatever they want.

So, now that you’re here: What happens from here? What becomes possible? What do you do from this new place?

You tell me.

Dissolve the limitations. Free yourself from suffering. And act from your true self.

That’s where your power is.

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If you’d like support with this process for yourself, I’d love to offer you a complimentary coaching session as a reader of this publication. Click here to apply for it and I’ll be in touch.

If you’re a coach and you want to learn methods for elevating your craft and working with clients at the highest level, enter your information here. I have something coming up that you’ll want to be a part of.

-Zack