The Myth of Imposter Syndrome

It's not a problem. It's your edge.

Imposter syndrome has a branding problem.

We talk about it like it is a flaw. A weakness. A psychological bug we are supposed to fix or get over. As if one day we will finally feel qualified, confident, and immune to self-doubt and then we will be ready to move forward.

But that is not how growth works.

Feeling like an imposter is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a sign that you are growing. Nothing more. Nothing less.

By definition, growth means moving from the familiar into the unfamiliar.

It means doing something you have not done before. Having a first. Entering new territory without a backlog of evidence that proves you will be fine.

And the moment you do that, your nervous system wakes up.

It says, “Hey, this is new. We don’t have a lot of data that we’re safe here. This could be dangerous. We should pay attention.”

We then interpret that signal as “imposter syndrome.”

But all that is really happening is this: you are growing.

And, again, by definition, growing means you are living at your edge.

Your edge is the boundary between familiar and unfamiliar.

So with the term “imposter syndrome” we’ve pretty much pathologized living at our edge.

It is not a syndrome. It’s not a problem. It is a protective response to the unknown. It’s a byproduct of growth.

And it’s the recipe for a pretty legendary life.

You Cannot Be an Imposter at Being Yourself

Are there times when we might actually be an imposter? Yeah, for sure… if we’re pretending to be someone we’re not. Because that’s what that word means.

But living at your edge is not pretending to be someone you’re not.

So here is the paradox that dissolves this whole thing.

If you are being yourself, you cannot be an imposter.

You just can’t.

Imposter syndrome only makes sense if you believe you are pretending to be someone you are not. But when you are operating from your actual values, curiosity, integrity, and lived experience, there is nothing to fake.

You are simply expanding your zone of familiarity.

That expansion always feels uncomfortable at first.

We need not confuse unfamiliar action with being someone else.

Imposter Feelings vs the Inner Critic

Feeling like an imposter is not the same thing as the inner critic.

The imposter feeling is fear. It is simply the sensation of being in unfamiliar territory.

The inner critic is what piles stories on top of that sensation.

The inner critic says:
You are not qualified.
You are behind.
Everyone else knows what they are doing.
You are going to be exposed.

Those thoughts are not protective. They are dramatic. And most of the time, they are not true.

The work is not to eliminate the sensation of being an imposter. The work is to feel it, appreciate where it’s coming from, and detach from the mental drama surrounding it.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

That’s courage, right? Courage can’t exist without fear.

One of my favorites:

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.” - Anaïs Nin

A Simple Reframe That Actually Works

Now, of course, I understand the inner critic will still be there. Try to silence it and it will only get louder. Instead, gain some space from it. Detach from it, so you can work with it.

When self-doubt shows up, slow it down. Reassure it.

Take a piece of paper and make three columns.

In the first column, write the thought.

• “I am not ready.”

• “I do not know enough.”

• “I should not be here.”

In the second column, write evidence against that thought.

• Your training.

• Your experience.

• Your past wins.

• The fact that you have done hard or unfamiliar things before.

In the third column, write a grounded reframe.

• “This feels uncomfortable because it is new, not because I am incapable.”

• “I am learning in real time.”

• “I am allowed to grow into this.”

This is not positive thinking. This is reality checking.

You are teaching your ego the difference between danger and discomfort.

You’re reshaping your conditioned fear response.

Courage comes first.

Confidence rarely comes before action, for confidence in something comes from beliefs we can do that thing and those beliefs are shaped by evidence that we’ve done it… and that evidence comes after, you know, we’ve done it.

This is why the first time I ever did a webinar I felt like I was going to throw up, and now I can roll out of bed and do one without even putting on pants.

It required courage at first. Now it requires little more than an internet connection.

You do not wait to feel less like an imposter and then take the leap. You take the leap, gather evidence, and then the feeling settles. Until the next edge appears.

And it will.

Because if you are on a real path of growth, there will always be another unfamiliar place waiting for you.

And then one day, you reach a point where the unfamiliar stops being something you fear at all. You start looking forward to it. And you find yourself at home in places you’ve never been.

So here’s the deal

Imposter syndrome is not a diagnosis.
It is not a disease.
It is not something to fix.

It is simply a sign that you are stretching beyond who you have been and what you have done.

The more often you feel it, the more you’re growing.

And the goal is not to make it go away.

The goal is to recognize it for what it is, stop making it mean something about your worth, and take one courageous step at a time.

That is how life expands.

That is how confidence is built.

And that is how you stop trying to eliminate your edge and start learning how to live there.

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I did a whole training about this at one point. It’s 51 minutes long. If you want it, let me know and I’ll send you the recording.

Also, share this with someone who can benefit.

Much love.